How to be Reasonable

Posted by Emmett France on January 13, 2013 · 1 Comment 

Keep in mind that you are being Reasonable. You are, of course, always right. Point this out at every opportunity, and raise your voice while doing so. It’s vital to be recognized as reasonable, or people might forget and start treating you as a normal plebeian. To this end, smiles are key. Do not show teeth, and keep your head higher than theirs, even if it means practically staring at the ceiling. Keep your eyes half-lidded. This will exude an air of cool confidence, instead of, for instance, smugness. A proper level of patronization of your fellows is also key. One must do it enough for it to be present, but not enough to earn actual physical violence from the rough parts of the population. You are aiming for an extended sigh Always dress two levels of formality above the next most formal person. Experts of Reasonableness may carry a first-aid kit, and complain about people who don’t. Make sure to have had the biggest struggles you need to overcome, no matter who you’re talking to. If you haven’t annoyed someone in the last ten minutes, you simply aren’t cut out for the job.

About these ads

Filed under Writing · Tagged with Emmett France, Okay I don't actually have a problem if you're offended by this one.